My anxiety levels were off the scale – surely this wasn’t just the menopause

Jessica was 46 when out of nowhere she felt a wave of anxiety so strong, she thought she was going to pass out. She says “It was the weekend and I was at the gym. For absolutely no reason I started to feel anxious. I tried to concentrate on my breathing. But it just got worse. I thought my head was going to explode. The panic was overwhelming.

Depression has always been part of my life, so I thought it had returned with a vengeance. Yet this felt different to the slow darkness of depression. The panic attacks got worse, I woke up in the night drenched in sweat and feeling terrified (for no reason). During the day my brain felt like cotton wool, I forgot what I was saying mid-sentence. My words sometimes became jumbled up and incoherent.

At work, as a freelance investigative journalist, I needed reminder notes everywhere just to be able to function from day to day. My job is stressful, but I’d always thrived in tough situations. Now, even checking my messages sent my heart racing in fear.

I decided there was something seriously wrong and confided in one of my closest friends – who happens to be a very senior nurse. Could this be early onset Alzheimer’s? I asked her nervously. She actually smiled and said ‘No, it sounds more like the menopause.’ I refused to believe her. This was meant to be my time when I got my body back after having three children. Surely I was too young to be going through the menopause. It wasn’t something I’d ever thought about or discussed with anyone.

But, thinking about it, I had put on a bit of weight round my middle – even though I eat healthily and exercise. My periods had been heavier and I really didn’t feel like having sex with my partner. An appointment with my GP confirmed that I was perimenopausal. It took some getting used to, but there is so much help and so many treatments that can really ease the symptoms.

My advice to any woman going through something similar is ‘you’re not going crazy, it’s probably the menopause and there’s plenty of help out there.’

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