Juliette’s story – Too young to be menopausal?

Juliette is 40, married, mum to two young boys, and works part-time as a healthcare professional in the NHS and private practice. She  enjoys sports and seeing friends and family.

Juliette is very in tune with her own body, and monitors her monthly cycle.  She noticed some subtle changes, such as her cycle length increasing by a couple of days and a longer premenstrual period each month with more symptoms.  Even though she’s only 40, with the increase in access to information about the menopause, and a personal experience of her mum experiencing symptoms early,  Juliette thought this could be the perimenopause.

In the UK, the average age for a woman to reach menopause (when periods have stopped for a year) is 51 with hormonal changes starting around the age of 45. Symptoms may include insomnia, night sweats, aching joints, headaches, hot flushes, brain fog and anxiety.

Juliette explains that  “I had always been a good sleeper even during times of stress, such as the night before exams, but I started regularly waking up at 2am, and struggling to go back to sleep. Instead of feeling relaxed before bedtime, I felt wired, like I had  cortisol racing around my body. Unsurprisingly, often I felt very tired and struggled to stay awake later than 9pm.”

“I noticed other experiences, such as I couldn’t get the right word out.  One time I pointed to the tissue box and asked my husband to ‘pass me a slice of milk’ (instead of ‘tissue’)! When particularly tired I stutter.  I often forgot things, became easily distracted and forgetful”; her husband bought her a special safety device attached to the hob which sends her alerts as she kept leaving the hob on after finishing cooking.

Understandably, this impacted on her work although she was open about her experience which enabled others to understand and support her.  Interestingly, this opened up conversations with others about similarities in their experiences. 

“I had intense mood swings, which I’d never experienced before. I became anxious about things I hadn’t given a thought to before, like driving at night. Sometimes my body just felt wired and I couldn’t connect it to any particular thoughts or worries.  My moods were governed by my menstrual cycle. Around ten days before my period started, the feelings of stress were overwhelming and I’d become angry quickly with my husband.. There were times when it felt intolerable to be near him. It wasn’t his fault and he tried to be supportive and understanding, but I felt totally at the mercy of my fluctuating hormones.”

 “At other times, I felt flat.  It wasn’t depression, but a strange feeling of a ceiling or limit  to my ability to experience joy or any deeply positive emotions. I’d want to do things, see people, look forward to going on holiday, but there was just a dull flat sensation instead of excitement or enjoyment.”

“Physically, my body felt bloated and there were times when I had almost unbearable breast tenderness. This became so severe I was referred for a mammogram to rule out any malignancy. The results were clear but I had to use ice packs on my breasts for relief. The pain was worse than anything I’d experienced during pregnancy or breast feeding.”

Listening to Davina McCall’s book ‘Menopausing’ really helped to validate and make sense of my experiences; it was so overwhelming, I burst into tears.”  

“I’ve now been on HRT for three months, plus some food supplements (omega 3 for ‘brain fog’ and Starflower Oil for breast tenderness). I’m managing to slow down and be calmer. I no longer feel that cortisol is constantly coursing through my body as often. We recently went on a family holiday and my husband and I didn’t argue once – a miracle! I still don’t know for sure if my experience is perimenopause, but I’ve definitely noticed an improvement in the symptoms.  

“My mother had a difficult menopause which started when she was 41 and she still has hot flushes at 73. I do not want to suffer like this and just feel grateful that the menopause has now come out of the closet, people are openly talking about it and there are effective management options available.”