Navigating menopause conversations with your boss

By the end of 2021 there were just over 4.4 million employed women in the UK ages 45-60.¹ On average women in the UK reach menopause at 51², therefore a significant proportion of women will be going through the menopause transition whilst still in their working careers. Given that the majority of women will have at least one symptom and at least a third of women going through menopause will have severe symptoms ^2,3,4, a supportive work environment is often hugely helpful for women. 

Unfortunately, many women struggle to have any sort of dialogue in the workplace about their menopause symptoms. In a 2023 survey of over 2000 women with menopausal symptoms done by the Chartered Institute of Development Personnel, over half of respondents (53%) were able to think of a time when they were unable to go into work due to their menopause symptoms.⁵ The highest proportion (18%) said they did not tell their manager anything about their menopause or symptoms. Eleven per cent only mentioned their symptoms and not menopause, while a further 11% told their manager about their menopause and symptoms.⁵

Menopause conversations

If you are finding it difficult to discuss your menopause symptoms with your line manager you are definitely not alone. These conversations can often feel uncomfortable and even more so if your manager has never experienced symptoms themselves. They do need to happen though, as they can often result in a much more supportive work environment.

 Your line manager is responsible for providing you with a safe and confidential environment to discuss any sensitive issues. If you are struggling, they may help you to create a Health and Wellbeing adjustment plan to agree some reasonable adjustments for you. Legally they have a duty of care to you under the Health and Safety at Work Act 1974. 

Here are some tips to navigate these conversations;

Prepare what you want to say in advance

Brain fog and anxiety can really increase your stress levels when it comes to having these conversations. To deal with this, before your meeting, make a list of the symptoms that you are struggling with and specifically how they are affecting you at work – for instance – hot flushes may be making your uniform uncomfortable and unpleasant to wear. Fatigue may be making it difficult for you to commute into work. Write down how you think your manager could help make this better – for instance adapting your uniform or allowing you to work more flexibly. These changes need not necessarily be permanent – they may be temporary while you work with your doctor to alleviate your symptoms.

Schedule your meeting 

Begin the discussion by finding an appropriate time and setting. Consider scheduling a one-on-one meeting to ensure privacy and minimize distractions. A relaxed environment can help set the tone for a more open conversation. It might be helpful to choose a neutral and comfortable space, perhaps over a cup of coffee or during a lunch break.

Acknowledge if you feel awkward

Acknowledging the elephant in the room i.e. that you feel incredibly awkward can be helpful and can help you to move on with the conversation – chances are your manager feels awkward as well!

Explain your situation clearly 

Explain your situation clearly. Talk about how menopause is affecting you at work, what you’re already doing to manage your symptoms and what your line manager could do to help. Discuss what support you would like e.g. reasonable adjustments and timescales. Create an action plan for both you and your line manager. They may need more time to think about the best support and potentially approach someone with more expertise within your work place. Remember, this may have been on your mind for a long time, but it may be the first time your manager has considered it. Give them time to digest the information and seek advice from HR or occupational health if necessary.

References

1. Office for National Statistics. Labour Market Statistics. London: Office for National Statistics. Jan 2019. Available from: https://www.ons.gov.uk/employmentandlabourmarket/peopleinwork/employmentandemployeetypes
2. Hunter MS, Gentry-Maharaj A, Ryan A, Burnell M, Lanceley A, Fraser L, Jacobs I, Menon U. Prevalence, frequency and problem rating of hot flushes persist in older postmenopausal women: impact of age, body mass index, hysterectomy, hormone therapy use, lifestyle and mood in a cross-sectional cohort study of 10 418 British women aged 54–65. BJOG: An International Journal of Obstetrics & Gynaecology. 2012 Jan 1;119(1):40-50.
3. Avis NE, Colvin A, Bromberger JT, Hess R, Matthews KA, Ory M, et al. Change in health-related quality of life over the menopausal transition in a multiethnic cohort of middle-aged women: Study of Women’s Health Across the Nation. Menopause 2009;16:860–9.
4. Ayers B, Hunter MS. Health-related quality of life of women with menopausal hot flushes and night sweats. Climacteric 2012;15:1–5
5. CIPD. (2023) Menopause in the workplace: Employee experiences in 2023. London: Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development