Lisa’s story – “Saved by a Menopause Buddy”

Lisa is 56, divorced, has 3 grown-up children and works part time. She enjoys the gym, gardening and travel.

Around the age of 50 and in spite of her active life style, Lisa started to gain weight and soon after her periods became erratic and her libido plummeted. She describes the experience as “overwhelming in intensity. I didn’t know what was happening to me. Yes, I’d heard of hot flushes, but I wasn’t prepared for anything as incapacitating as the ones affecting me. They could happen at any time and in any place. I could be in a meeting and then feel the heat taking control of my body. For two or three minutes I couldn’t do or say anything as it was so intense.”

“I tried asking my GP for advice, but because I had a history of mental health issues, she just prescribed anti-depressants. She insisted I wasn’t menopausal and clung on to the ‘depressed’ diagnosis. I wrongly assumed that as a doctor, she must be right.”

“My relationship with my partner deteriorated rapidly. He thought my symptoms were all in my head, despite me getting up most nights to change the sweat-drenched sheets. My lack of interest in sex badly affected him, he didn’t even try to understand how I was feeling.”

“Just when I felt I’d reached rock bottom, a close friend, Jackie asked me outright if I was going through the menopause. This was a light bulb moment and explained everything I’d been trying to understand. Jackie is 10 years older than me and very open about herself and her body. For the first time some-one understood what I was going through. Just talking about the menopause over a coffee or glass of wine made such a difference. I realised this was just another stage in my life and I would emerge from it a stronger person.”

“I think every woman of a certain age needs an older menopause buddy. It’s only by having frank conversations, that we can bring the menopause out into the open. I’ve even shared my experience with my children, so when the time comes they know what to expect.”

“I’m now under the care of a menopause expert who has prescribed HRT and am feeling much more like myself. Being open and honest is the first step, there’s so much to enjoy in life, but we all need a little help sometimes to find this.”